So this new trend as of late is raising kids gender neutral which in my understanding is where your child doesn't identify with one gender or the other. I have read countless articles on it and I see the full range of parents who let their kids pick their own clothes regardless of gender to the more severe extreme to basically eliminating all gender references like the parents who keep their kids gender a secret.
I am not casting judgment on anyone who decides to approach parenting this way but personally I would think it would be hard to do. From my own experience, my kids very much designate them their gender. My son is all boy. He loves to roughhouse, play with cars and chooses to read books on machines and big trucks. My daughter can be all girl wearing dresses, playing with her AG dolls, and reading all about faeries and princesses.
But they also like to play with each others toys. My son will sneak into his sisters room and be so loving to her dolls while my daughter is off playing Star Wars and building with Legos. I figured let the kids pick their interests and as they get older, they find ways to play together and share their likes and interest.
I am not being that Mom who wants them to be gender neutral but the Mom where her kids think for themselves as well as outside the box when they are being kids. All my daughter wanted to be for Halloween was a Storm Trooper specifically Captain Rex from the Clone Wars. To be honest I thought for sure she would change her mind and was still thinking that after we went to an all girls Halloween party where everyone was else was princesses, witches, or cowgirls. Nope she was happy to be what she wanted.
She embraced it and well had a blast. Trick or treating, she saw about three other Capt. Rex's but everyone thought she was the coolest one out there. For me it sin't about her being boyish but more about showing her individuality as a person. Truthfully if it would have worked with her costume, she would have totally wanted a big bow or even gone as a pink stormtrooper.
For me it is all about letting the kids be kids, Having fun and enjoying being a kid. My daughter loves soccer, and knows she is horrible at it though but still just loves going to the practice and games to just have fun. She is willing to work at getting better but also is okay with being there. Though she still knows she has to protect her face and the team had a penalty for a hand ball when she put her hands up in defense when the ball was coming at her face. The poor kid has been hit square in the face every season at least once but she shakes it off even after the one drew blood.
My kids are just about having fun. They may dress up in dresses and run around playing fashion show and the next they are Jedi's battling the evil Empire. I wish for their sake there were more cross over toys. It was hard to find my daughter a Star Wars shirt she had wanted in a color she likes. My daughter likes the stronger Princesses and has been begging me to get her lessons on the bow.
I am not teaching my kids to be gender neutral at all. I admit I have told my daughter that as a girl she sometimes needs to pull that card but I also teach her that she needs to be herself. Choose what she likes and who she wants to be. After Halloween, I was looking at the clearance costumes and knew the Spiderman one was right up her alley and I think since it came home, she has worn it most days.
Kids need to be kids who express themselves and their personalities. My son loves to draw and color, he will do it all day if I let him. I love him being so creative and asking about his drawings. I love the kids are able to enjoy each others likes but that they each have their own likes they can share with us. I just want my kids to have fun!
Rebecca Benson is a League City stay at home mom who has lived here since 2003 when her husband took a job on the International Space Station program. She followed soon after working on the same program for nearly six years when she started staying home with the kids. Rebecca loves to craft, scrapbook, sew, and embrace motherhood. Rebecca has a blog called Mommiedom ((http://queenmommiedom.blogspot.com/) where she talks about all the things in her life not just those “confessions”.
