So I figure in writing this I am going to get some friendly parenting advice from my own mother after she reads this. She always starts off with telling me that she knows it is “none of her business” or “If you want my opinion” when we talk the kids. Actually I am okay most of the time with advice from the grandparents. There are things I have no clue and will ask them about and then there are things I really don't need their advice on.
It is a tricky slide for both our parents and us when it comes to giving advice. I know my parents raised two kids that are normal and pretty well adjusted. I am open to seeing how things worked for them versus how it is working for me. There are things I instill in my kids that my parents did and there are things I don't want to repeat. It is human nature to want to improve upon what we know and as parents we are so in to that.
Though in all honestly we tend to as parents get defensive the moment anyone has anything negative to say about our kids even if it is true. I have seen and heard all sorts of crazy when that nerve is hit when it comes to something in regards to a parent's kid. We were teasing my brother because my niece was hitting. We were being harmless, but I noticed they really have gotten on her about it so when she comes home from preschool every day she tells everyone she didn't hit or bite.
As parents we are full of emotions when it comes to our kids behaviors. We bask in the glow of wonderfulness when our kids are perfect in public and slink away in embarrassment when they seem possessed. We worry so much about what others are thinking but don't want any interference even though we seem to be way over our heads with it.
We don't want our own parents to think badly of us when the kids are acting badly. At least my own parents have had a realization that the three year old is super hard headed and my mom told me I tend to baby him more. She is likely right because at times when I am constantly after him about something, it is easier to let it go as I see it.
As an adult, you don't want to parented by your own parents any more but it is ingrained in them to be parents just as you will be when our children are adults which I don't want to happen anytime soon. Though it is nice to sometimes have that extra guidance when you are at your wits end. My three year old was throwing a tantrum and my dad knew I was overwhelmed with it. He stepped in, and took over dealing with him. He had a different approach with some hilarious moments of trying to calm the boy down which included him telling my dad I was going to put him in time out.
I love and cherish my parents and even though I might not need to advice, I try to welcome it because one day they won't be there to give it. My mom giving her opinion about potting training, or eating habits isn't so bad. I know I to will be in her place one day totally undermining my kids parenting skills and rules because I will be grandma!
Rebecca Benson is a League City stay at home mom who has lived here since 2003 when her husband took a job on the International Space Station program. She followed soon after working on the same program for nearly six years when she started staying home with the kids. Rebecca loves to craft, scrapbook, sew, and embrace motherhood. Rebecca has a blog called Mommiedom ((http://queenmommiedom.blogspot.com/) where she talks about all the things in her life not just those “confessions”.
