The other day I learned something about a kid who I thought was my kiddos friend. It really upset me and made me want to go all momma bear on the other kids mother. My wonderful hubby actually encouraged me to confront the parents instead of talking me down because he too is pretty annoyed with them as well. I took a step back and realized by being that way, I would become that crazy mom that is going to be talked about. You know the one, we all have them in our lives. Now everyone who knows me is likely wondering if they are that mom.
Actually we have all been that mom at some point. The one who breaks down because their kid or something finally pushed them to that crazy breaking point and you know what that is perfectly okay. We are moms who are very protective of their kids and only want them to be happy and it hurts us when we see them get hurt but we need to let them work it out too without going all crazy about it. Just this week I was border line that way and almost got pushed over by someone. I took a breath and steeped back.
With my particular situation, my kiddo is pretty much in the dark about what I found out but I worry that the other kid might be telling fibs about my kiddo to her parents and this kid has a history of it with other kids as well. I know the kid is looking for attention for the most part because of her situation. I tell my daughter to let it roll off her back because it really doesn't matter.
When she started school last fall she was super worried about the girl who had bullied her last year and yes the teacher was aware of it and did work on it. I told her that is by chance the kid was in her class this year to just be nice and if the issues arose again that we would start with the teacher and proceed on with me dealing directly with the other kids Mom if it did happen. I told her flat out not to worry about it and not let her ruin the joy of going back and seeing all of her friends.
Good thing was the kid wasn't in her class and she has had zero problem with that kid or any others this year. My kid is a sweet kid and sometimes to passive for her own good but I have yet to ever hear anything bad about her, only good. I figure if I wasn't hearing anything about her that I should worry.
Heck she is so liked that her little friend made a not so nice comment to her and was so choked up about it that he insisted on coming to our house to apologize. I thought it was an awesome lesson for both kids to learn from. It can be hard to apologize but it can also be hard to forgive. Good thing both kids after that brushed it off and were playing nicely.
It is hard to teach your kids that balance from being assertive to being bat crazy. I admit when I was younger that I had a temper and I worked hard at not losing it so easily. I still admit I can blow things out of control in a flat second in regards to certain things but other times I admit I m being taken advantage of in the situation.
Just not wanting my kids to feel taken advantage of is so important. Teaching them to be assertive without being to aggressive. I told my dear daughter to tell the the bully last year to mind her own business (in the nicest possible way). I want her to not be passive aggressive either which I admit I can be as well.
That is the tight rope we all walk as parents, is teaching our kids the right ways to do things. I can always tell a kid who has influences beyond mom and dad in their lives and how they deal with situations. I can always tell when a kid is desperately looking for some so sort of attention and it never is done in a positive way and those are usually the moms who go crazy in situations. So here I am being calm about something and have decided not to get totally way upset about it (a little is okay because I am human) and know that it will likely happen again in my kids lives but if I teach them now, they will be able to deal with it in the long run.
Rebecca Benson is a League City stay at home mom who has lived here since 2003 when her husband took a job on the International Space Station program. She followed soon after working on the same program for nearly six years when she started staying home with the kids. Rebecca loves to craft, scrapbook, sew, and embrace motherhood. Rebecca has a blog called Mommiedom ((http://queenmommiedom.blogspot.com/) where she talks about all the things in her life not just those “confessions”.
