Did you groan at my title- thinking yeah more “advice” from another mother? Yeah I know I feel the same way about that “advice” that we all seem to get as Moms. I think it is in our blood as mother's to dish out information sometimes useful and sometimes so far out there that we go Huh!
Advice is out there every where for us Moms. Daily I see somewhere on the world wide web that motherly advice. There is sometimes so much out there that my head begins to hurt. I have read articles spanking vs not spanking or eating only organic foods. For me I think it all seems so skewed in what it is giving advice on that certain subject with out taking in account so many factors.
I got advice from everyone the moment I told them I was pregnant with our first child. I was so overcome with all that “advice” my personality is one that I revolt and do the opposite of that advice. I also admit I do lots of research on what is right for my kids and try not to overreact.
Lots of times I take advice in stride when it comes to my kids. I know that what I am doing is right for my kids now. I also know that at times I need to internalize that advice I was given. I know that when it comes to what we choose to do as parents there are times advice is going to come from people. As much as I don't want to hear criticism about my child there is always some truth in it. Sometimes it takes that outside person to get you to recognize that something might be up with your kids that should be addressed.
I know when my Mom tells me that my son is a handful that yes I know that but I am also working on him to be better and not so “spirited”. I recognize that in him and work hard at trying to get him to a place where we aren't having a huge blow out. Sometimes my approach works and sometimes it doesn’t but we are always working on it.
Here is the thing and yes this is some advice on my part. Kids need structure and stability. When they have that for the most part they are good. They like to know what to expect and what is expected of them. I am not a perfect person nor are my kids. Advice is something that we all give and receive because for what ever reason there is a need for it. As much as I dislike getting it, I know that it is given for a reason many times through love and respect for me as a person. The same goes for when I hand out advice, I do it not to be mean or spiteful but to be helpful and encouraging.
Truth is advice is often given out because you went through a similar situation. I have given advice and have had people come back to tell me that was good and wish they would have done it sooner. For the ones it seems to fall on deaf ears, well I notice that the situations often gets worst over time creating a far bigger problem. Truthfully than I don't want any part of it and move on from it.
Basically do what is right for your kids and you. When you get advice, do a truth test to see if well there might be something to it. Give advice when you feel the appropriate and don't get offend when you ask for advice and it isn't what you want to hear. We are all navigating this world with our kids and trying not to totally sink the ship!
Rebecca Benson is a League City stay at home mom who has lived here since 2003 when her husband took a job on the International Space Station program. She followed soon after working on the same program for nearly six years when she started staying home with the kids. Rebecca loves to craft, scrapbook, sew, and embrace motherhood. Rebecca has a blog called Mommiedom ((http://queenmommiedom.blogspot.com/) where she talks about all the things in her life not just those “confessions”.
